she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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