it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
