The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
