I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
