I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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