I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
