how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
