Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
