didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
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