But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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