just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Are my feet made of real feet?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
