these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
