so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
