matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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