Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

My hand turned me down

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(310): View more from California

Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Do they take checks?

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

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(979): View more from Texas

We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

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(478): View more from Georgia

First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?

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(448): View more from

sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth

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(561): View more from Florida

She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.

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