I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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