I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
