he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
