I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
