when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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