you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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