So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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