I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
