Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
