You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
