We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
