Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
