brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is your mom at the bar?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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