she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
