respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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