I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
