I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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