One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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