im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
