AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
