Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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