This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize