it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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