Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
