Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
