Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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