Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
