you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
