That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
