...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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