Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
