All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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