My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
