You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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