I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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