belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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