I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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