So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
