smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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