not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
