She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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