I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
