is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
