I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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