I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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