My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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