is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
