My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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