Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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