I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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