is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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