I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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