i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize