After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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